"You cannot step into the same river twice." - -- HeraclitusI am still musing on many things that opened up to me this week, and I am sure they'll emerge here later on....
But I was horribly (?) conscious of a thinking/perception shift last evening. After a week of Quakerly discernment, holding each other in light with some very tough considerations, I returned home to what I can only describe as a jarring introduction to my regular ol' "reality". I attended an organizational meeting for a certainly worthy cause, one that I am only momentarily involved in (the specifics of the endeavor are not really relevant here).
I saw a typical "meeting" where everybody fought to make their point, struggled to be heard, win/lose situations, poor planning that I am convinced will result in loss of revenue, time, and effort. It was VERY hard for me to sit through. And I have done much group training/collaboration work in the past, so I am not new to this phenomenon.
This time it was just more tedious, more draining, more unsettling.
However, I do think I was able to gasp the shift in my perceptions, which helped me to just sit back and watch the process. There were many things that I could have commented on and volunteered to "fix". And yet, I somehow knew already at that moment that this was not my path to be on, I was to sit, to listen for a moment, and then move on.
Later on I handed over some of the work to another member of our own meeting, for the subsequent fair in October. It felt really great to have participated in a true and simple way, and then passed on the burden when I felt it was no longer mine to hold. So yes, I was "back" in a group again, watching mayhem unfold, and yet somehow it was totally different. Not the same river at all!
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