Gay Marriage for British Quakers

One of the UK's oldest Christian denominations - the Quakers - looks set to extend marriage services to same-sex couples at their yearly meeting later. The society has already held religious blessings for same-sex couples who have had a civil partnership ceremony. But agreeing to perform gay marriages, which are currently not allowed under civil law, could bring the Quakers into conflict with the government. The issue of active homosexuality has bitterly divided Churches. But the BBC's religious affairs correspondent Robert Pigott said the Quakers had been more prepared than other groups to reinterpret the Bible in the light of contemporary life.

from the BBC

Apparently this BBC news clip was released before Britain Yearly meeting had come to any final conclusions - thus the tense of the article. However, a minute was agreed upon, and the result is that same-sex marriage will be performed in Quaker services. American Quakers are all over the place on this issue - I see us as clearly divided and I often wonder how we will resolve this without a major split. As I head to our own New England Yearly Meeting, I am thrilled with this news of Britain's decision. Hooray!

Radiant City

Something's happening on the edge of town. There's a desperate housewife in the parking lot, a musical chorus line mowing the lawn - and a loaded gun in the upstairs closet. Welcome to Radiant City, an entertaining and startling new film on 21st century suburbanites. Gary Burns, Canada's king of surreal comedy, joins journalist Jim Brown on an outing to the burbs. Venturing into territory both familiar and foreign, they turn the documentary genre inside out, crafting a vivid account of life in The Late Suburban Age. (from the Radiant City website)

Terrific real facts regarding suburbia and its pitfalls - and a hilarious storyline about a family living in the suburbs, ironic kids, a husband starring in a musical about suburbs ("it's kinda like screening Apocalypse Now" in Cambodia" he says), and a wife who despeartely wants to fit in and like her suburban lifestyle. Kind of a docu-comedy. Very entertaining and yet scary, with experts predicting the downfall of society as we continue to support unsustainable living.

Mr. Lincoln's Chair: The Shakers and Their Quest for Peace

by Anita Sanchez

"The Civil War struck America's Shaker communities with all the violence of a hurricane. Through the dramatic story of two worlds in collision, author Anita Sanchez gives illuminating insights into the nature of each. As she unfolds the story of the Shakers' quest to spur President Abraham Lincoln to grant them conscientious objector status, the reader realizes how critically important to our nation is the legacy of a people who are too often dismissed as merely being the makers of nice chairs. Vivid and beautifully written, this book is a wonderful introduction to the history, faith, culture, and heritage of the Shakers, who have been interacting with and quietly influencing the mainstream culture of the United States for over 230 years while most Americans were unaware it was even happening." --Darryl Thompson, Shaker historian and historical interpreter

Terrific book. I am a huge fan of the Shakers and their community and lifestyle. This book had lots of new information for me, and was well written and involved the "outside world" as well as that of the early and civil-war time Shakers.

If Grace is True: Why God Will Save Every Person

by Phillip Gulley and James Mulholland

Traditionally, many Christian denominations have held fast to the belief that those who confess God's saving grace from sin will be rewarded with eternal life while those who reject this grace will be damned to eternal perdition. Such a belief, according to ministers Gulley and Mulholland, fails miserably to acknowledge the real message of Christianity: that God's gracious arms are wide enough to hold every person, regardless of shortcomings or sins. The authors did not always feel this way, and their little meditation on Christian universalism is as much autobiographical confession as theological treatise. Using stories from their own lives and ministries, Gulley and Mulholland devote a chapter to each of the words in the sentence "why God will save every person." In a seamless voice, they tell of people's struggles to accept teachings of the church that keep them from closeness with God. They also recall events in their own lives where they stood in the way of God's grace operating in personal relationships. For example, when one of their ministerial friends declared his homosexuality, they realized that - despite their former judgmental stance on homosexuality - this person deserved God's love and grace as much as any other. Salvation, they argue, is simply being freed of every obstacle to intimacy with God. Gulley and Mulholland's stirring manifesto on the central role of universalism in Christianity will provoke traditionalists and encourage new ways of thinking about the nature and purpose of the Christian faith.

There's also some controversy around this book. I shall blog about that separately. This was, in my opinion, a terrific and tolerant look at Christianity and humans (in all their faulted ways) in a loving, all-encompassing way.

How God Changes Your Brain: Breakthrough Findings from a Leading Neuroscientist

by Andrew Newberg, Mark Waldman

Over the past decade or so, numerous studies have suggested that prayer and meditation can enhance physical health and healing from illness. In this stimulating and provocative book, two academics at the University of Pennsylvania's Center for Spirituality and the Mind contend that contemplating God actually reduces stress, which in turn prevents the deterioration of the brain's dendrites and increases neuroplasticity. The authors conclude that meditation and other spiritual practices permanently strengthen neural functioning in specific parts of the brain that aid in lowering anxiety and depression, enhancing social awareness and empathy, and improving cognitive functioning. The book's middle section draws on the authors' research on how people experience God and where in the brain that experience might be located. Finally, the authors offer exercises for enhancing physical, mental and spiritual health. Their suggestions are commonsensical and common to other kinds of health regimens: smile, stay intellectually active, consciously relax, yawn, meditate, exercise aerobically, dialogue with others and trust in your beliefs. Although the book's title is a bit misleading, since it is not God but spiritual practice that changes the brain, this forceful study could stir controversy among scientists and philosophers.

This was an interesting book to read, although slightly misleading. Rather than being a "religious" type book, it's more of an in depth study on how prayer and meditation and spiritual practice all affect the brain. Interesting perspectives and studies done on tolerance of other faiths, perspectives of God that differ and how that affects others, etc. A decent read.

Rest. Peace.

I'm contemplating more rest today. Listening to the gentle summer rain - my joints are really aching today, but I still appreciate the soothing sounds of the rain. Last eve I had planned to attend a community seminar, which might have bene interesting. Instead, I chose to sit in the stacks at the library, leaf through magazines, and rest. I was glad to have had the ability to make that choice - and surprised I made it that way!

Looking at the finances for the fall. I have the ability to embark on some new part-time jobs, but I'm wondering if time home with Maille, time home for rest, is the way I should be headed in the fall with new preschool for Maille, new job for me. Too many changes at once make me cranky.

Been listening to the music of Sufjan Stevens lately. Speaking to me rather cryptically as I go about my day. Vito's Ordination song is soothing and comforting....

Vito's Ordination Song :

I always knew you

in your mothers arms

i have called your name

i have an idea

placed in your mind

to be a better man

ive made a crown for you

put it in your room

and when the bride groom comes

there will be noise

there will be glad

and a perfect bed

and when you write a poem

i know the words

i know the sounds

before you write it down

only wear your clothes

i wear them too

i wear your shoes

and your jacket too

i always knew you

in your mothers arms

i have called you son

ive made amends

between father and son

or if you havent one

rest in my arms

sleep in my bed

there is a design

to what i did and said

Chopsticks for kids

Chopsticks! When we have taken trips to Asian restaurants of late, Maille, has loved using the chopsticks, even though they have been a little messy. I saw these on television once, and found them today at the MFA. Dishwasher safe, available on Amazon and other places - I may use them as party favors and attach them to kids' gifts in the future!

The Book About You

The book that tells about you slumps in the library
Somewhere in the medical section. It is vague at first
but then detailed: you are hopeless and not even interesting.
Cases like yours routine through hospitals, especially
in slum districts. By the end of the book, you are dead
one-third of the time but live a useful life
occasionally if treated early. One patient
in Calcutta lived fifteen years. Softly you close
the book and push back. You walk past the travel section
and the mysteries and romances. At the door you turn for a glance:
they have established a new shelf- pay books. The librarian
is watching you. You spread your hands, go out
the quiet door, and stand there enjoying the sun.
There are days like this for everyone. Somebody else
Will put the book back. Strangely- one of the symptoms?-
you feel like singing.

-William Stafford

Mardis Gras: Made In China

The award winning documentary, Mardi Gras: Made in China, swiftly follows the "bead trail" from the naked streets of New Orleans during Carnival, where revelers party 24/7, to the disciplined factories in Fuzhou, China, where teenage laborers live and thread beads 24/7. Told with humor and curiosity, Mardi Gras: Made in China provides a global connection by introducing workers and revelers to each other through a disposable commodity: Mardi Gras beads.

First-time director David Redmon cleverly illuminates the clash of cultures by juxtaposing American excess and consumer ignorance against the harsh life of the Chinese factory worker.
The film confronts both cultural and economic globalism by humanizing the commodity chain from China to the United States. Redmon follows the stories of four teenage women workers in the largest Mardi Gras bead factory in the world, providing insights into their economic realities, self-sacrifice, and dreams of a better life, and the severe discipline imposed by living and working in a factory compound.

Interweaving factory life with Mardi Gras festivities, the film opens the blind eye of consumerism by visually introducing workers and festival-goers to each other. A dialogue results when bead-wearing partiers are shown images of the teenage Chinese workers and asked if they know the origin of their beads, while the factory girls view pictures of Americans exchanging beads, soliciting more beads, and decadently celebrating. The conversation reveals the glaring truth about the real benefactors of the Chinese workers' hard labor and exposes the extreme contrast between women's lives and liberty in both cultures.

This is a horrifying look at Chinese mass production and factory life for young workers. Mostly women because they are "easier to control" (says the factory manager). This was hard to watch, but is a must-see for any American consumer who wonders where their cheap plastic products and standard of living really comes from.

Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Inquiry Into the Value of Work

by Matthew B Crawford

Philosopher and motorcycle repair-shop owner Crawford extols the value of making and fixing things in this masterful paean to what he calls manual competence, the ability to work with one's hands. According to the author, our alienation from how our possessions are made and how they work takes many forms: the decline of shop class, the design of goods whose workings cannot be accessed by users (such as recent Mercedes models built without oil dipsticks) and the general disdain with which we regard the trades in our emerging information economy. Unlike today's knowledge worker, whose work is often so abstract that standards of excellence cannot exist in many fields (consider corporate executives awarded bonuses as their companies sink into bankruptcy), the person who works with his or her hands submits to standards inherent in the work itself: the lights either turn on or they don't, the toilet flushes or it doesn't, the motorcycle roars or sputters. With wit and humor, the author deftly mixes the details of his own experience as a tradesman and then proprietor of a motorcycle repair shop with more philosophical considerations. (from Amazon)

Great book - a little heavy on the technical details of machine repair, but I found this book thoughtful overall.

Orwellian Omission?

NYT reminds us that Orwell was a visionary, not just an author...

In George Orwell’s “1984,” government censors erase all traces of news articles embarrassing to Big Brother by sending them down an incineration chute called the “memory hole.” On Friday, it was “1984” and another Orwell book, “Animal Farm,” that were dropped down the memory hole — by Amazon.com. In a move that angered customers and generated waves of online pique, Amazon remotely deleted some digital editions of the books from the Kindle devices of readers who had bought them.

I'm a big advocate of "real" books and newspapers, despite my heavy use of the internet to read as well. This would make me rethink the Kindle. They say it will not happen again after this incident, but Amazon has removed other books before, according to the article.

Project Runway Season Six - Here We Go!!!!!

David and I will begin watching the first seasons on DVD this week in preparation. Oh Project Runway, how we've missed you!

Links: The Lifetime channel/site

Blogging Project Runway (the best blog for info)

Kicking It

The Homeless World Cup is a life changing international football tournament. From Argentina to Australia, South Africa to Portugal, Cameroon to Brazil, Germany to England homeless people take a once in a lifetime opportunity to represent their country and change their lives forever. 77% of players go on to find a home, come off drugs and alcohol, get into education, jobs, training, repair relationships with friends and family. True grit spirit and glory of grass roots and international football.

A great film about a great organization that I was unaware of. Check out their website here!

Pitch Perfect: The Quest for Collegiate A Cappella Glory

by Mickey Rapkin

According to GQ senior editor Rapkin, today's lively collegiate a cappella groups boast hip-hop repertory, professional vocal arrangements, competitions at Lincoln Center and a world shrunk by the Internet. During the 2006–2007 college season, Rapkin, an alum of a Cornell all-male singing club, followed three a cappella powerhouses: Divisi, an all-girl group from the University of Oregon, the testosterone-driven Hullabahoos of the University of Virginia, and Beelzebubs, from Tufts. Each is a collective with a score to settle, a tradition to honor. Robbed of a championship in 2005, Divisi wants payback; the Hullabahoos want respect without forfeiting their frat-boy charm; and the controversial Bubs want to hone their edge. Throughout, Rapkin engages with celebrity trivia (Heroes' Masi Oka sang a cappella at Brown) and music criticism. He profiles the cottage recording industry built from college a cappella. Most notably, he riffs through signature events and crisis moments with a snarky humor (onstage Divisi looks like the women in that Robert Palmer video) that turns each chapter into a picaresque progression toward graduation. (from Publishers Weekly via Amazon)

SO here's a world I knew NOTHING about..... sometimes a difficult read, with lots of names and facts. But the overall story is good - although I did not fell I connected with the struggles of all the singers in their quests for glory. An average tale.

A Class Apart: Prodigies, Pressure, and Passion Inside One of America's Best High Schools

by Alec Klein

Enter Stuyvesant High, one of the most extraordinary schools in America, a place where the brainiacs prevail and jocks are embarrassed to admit they play on the woeful football team. Academic competition is so intense that students say they can have only two of these three things: good grades, a social life, or sleep. About one in four Stuyvesant students gains admission to the Ivy League. And the school's alumni include several Nobel laureates, Academy Award winners, and luminaries in the arts, business, and public service.

A Class Apart follows the lives of Stuyvesant's remarkable students, such as Romeo, the football team captain who teaches himself calculus and strives to make it into Harvard; Jane, a world-weary poet at seventeen, battling the demon of drug addiction; Milo, a ten-year-old prodigy trying to fit in among high-school students who are literally twice his size; Mariya, a first-generation American beginning to resist parental pressure for ever-higher grades so that she can enjoy her sophomore year. And then there is the faculty, such as math chairman Mr. Jaye, who is determined not to let bureaucratic red tape stop him from helping his teachers. He even finds a job for a depressed math genius who lacks a college degree but possesses the gift of teaching. (from Amazon)

I suspect that this book's tale is indeed accurate in terms of a high-performing, high-pressure high school. I am still shocked when I read of teenagers under this kind of pressure - most of it parental, not from the school. A good read, and prompted some good thinking from me about what we teach, what we value and why.

I.M. Pei - First Person Singular

A terrific film about a fascinating person. Despite his age when this was filmed, Pei is a youthful figure who has a sincere interest in his craft and its reception. A good perspective into the construction and development of some well known buildings.

Unzipped

Douglas Keeve captures the glamour and mayhem of high fashion in this eye-popping documentary (which nabbed the Audience Award honors at the Sundance Film Festival) that follows designer Isaac Mizrahi as he puts together his 1994 runway collection to be presented during New York's fall shows. Features appearances by supermodels Linda Evangelista, Naomi Campbell and Cindy Crawford.

Also features stunning appearances by Sandra Bernhard, Mark Morris, Eartha Kitt, and Robert Best (of later Project Runway fame - he was a Mizrahi assistant). This was really well done - no implied commentary forom the filmmakers, the story just plays out in all the fabulous drama. I have always liked Mizrahi - now more so. This is an old film, but still around on netflix, etc. Mizrahi imiitating Mark Morris' Bach dance (from the cello concerto collaboration with YoYo Ma) is also priceless. The fact that I recognized it right away was a little surprising. But my artistic viewing is strating to seem like one continuous film. Perhaps all New York artists are indeed in one club?

What Would Brian Boitano Do?

Apparently (though not mentioned in the South Park song), Brian Boitano would start a food show on the food network. In an entertaining example of life imitating art (???)....

What Would Brian Boitano Make? will premiere on the Food Network on August 23. About the show:

Everyone knows Olympic figure skater Brian Boitano is a champion on the ice, but he also gives a gold medal performance in the kitchen! In the new daytime series, What Would Brian Boitano Make?, Brian demonstrates his culinary skills and passion for one-of-a-kind entertaining. In every unpredictable episode, Brian hosts get-togethers at his San Francisco home.

I cannot get the song out of my head. No further commentary at this time.

Matthew Fox on Art

"The arts allow us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time." - Fox

How true. I've been thinking a lot about creativity this week, spurned on by a not-so-creative educational conference. I was fortunate to see Fox speak live this year, and am rereading his creativity book now. I suspect it will provide some new insights, and an antidote for my preprogrammed, not-so-creative weekend!

New Muslim Cool

Puerto Rican-American rapper Hamza Pérez pulled himself out of drug dealing and street life 12 years ago and became a Muslim. Now he's moved to Pittsburgh's tough North Side to start a new religious community, rebuild his shattered family and take his message of faith to other young people through hard-hitting hip-hop music. But when the FBI raids his mosque, Hamza must confront the realities of the post-9/11 world, and himself. New Muslim Cool takes viewers on Hamza's ride through streets, slums and jail cells — following his spiritual journey to some surprising places in an America that never stops changing.

A great film, about a misunderstood religion. I still do not know much about Muslims, but I do know a bit about living and learning and people, and you can find all of those in this film.

Film can be watched on PBS here.

Kittery artist creates Bill Cosby likeness with Jell-O shots | SeacoastOnline.com

Kittery artist creates Bill Cosby likeness with Jell-O shots | SeacoastOnline.com

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Life. Support. Music.

In 2004, Jason Crigler's life was taking off. He was one of New York's hottest young guitarists, his new CD was due for release and his wife, Monica, was pregnant with their first child. Then, at a gig in Manhattan, Jason suffered a near-fatal brain hemorrhage. His doctors doubted he would ever emerge from his near-vegetative state. The astonishing journey that followed, documented by friend and filmmaker Eric Daniel Metzgar (The Chances of the World Changing, POV 2007), is a stirring family saga and a portrait of creative struggle in the face of overwhelming tragedy.

Astounding and inspirational. You can find it here, and watch it online until September 6.

Takin' a break, or movin' around a bit

I skipped meeting this morning. Ironically, there have been times where I got up early and changed my whole day to get to two meetings for worship in a week (and went to Cambridge), and yet today I just couldn't leave the easy chair.

I think the past few weeks have a been ones of good personal prioritizing for me. Realizing that what speaks to me, my own inner voice, is the one I must listen to the most. Does not attending meeting today mean I am less dedicated to a Quaker path? Of course not. Where I am for one hour in my week does not summarize who I am.

I felt this way at a music conference this week as well. I gathered the information I needed, took careful time to reflect on how I would use it in my own classroom, and chose to avoid some of the less "useful" seminars. Ten years ago those seminars would have been helpful to me. Ten years from now, perhaps they will be helpful again.

We all see the world around us through a lens, and that lens is shaped from our own experiences. I have recently devised a new way to be kind to myself - I ask myself "If my daughter was in this situation, how would I want her to treat herself and act?" That question gets rid of a lot of the "out theres" and the "what ifs". My daughter is perfect being who SHE is - and I hope to be merely the "perfect" ME as I travel lightly through the world.

This week Maille does not go to daycare, and she and I will spend a whole fun week together. When she was younger, I got into the habit of sending her to childcare for a half day so I had some time to myself. I am pondering if that time is so important now. Financially, we are cutting back as much as we can - still figuring out if we need to replace the second job I recently lost. I must say that the time I had for me back then was life-affirming, it gave me a small chance to retain the few things I thought I might have to give up in order to be a stay-at-home mom. Now with my commute significantly shortened, my exhaustion from a hectic work schedule hopefully diminishing, I am working on how to spend that time in a more helpful way. Not by taking a class, starting a new degree - but maybe just playing in a new group, joining a book club, and of course spending more adventure time with Maille.

Does Plastic Art Last Forever?

In the early 1960s, curators at the Philadelphia Museum of Art noticed something funny about one of their modern-art sculptures: It smelled like vinegar. Worse, the once-clear plastic sculpture had begun browning like an apple, and cracks had appeared on its surface. By 1967, Naum Gabo's translucent, airy Construction in Space: Two Cones looked like Tupperware that had gone through the dishwasher too often.

The volatile Gabo got so angry at the curators (he blamed the deterioration on their keeping his work in an airtight display case) that he took the sculpture back to repair it. That didn't work—things, in fact, got worse—and he finally gave up. He cast a replica of Two Cones, donated it to the Tate in London, and gave Philly back the degraded original.

(from Slate)

Apparently plastic art does not last forever. So.... do artists change their medium? Does the deterioration become a "part" of the artistic product and process? I really liked this article - reminded me about the factors "behind" the art.

Nice Song For Today

I stumbled upon this today. This is from the fantastic film "Once" - which I think I will watch again soon!

The Education of Shelby Knox

In this documentary from Marion Lipschutz and Rose Rosenblatt -- which uses footage shot over a three-year period -- the action unfolds almost effortlessly, revealing a stunning transformation. Small-town Texas teenager Shelby Knox becomes an advocate for sex education (and the local media's so-called "Sex Ed Girl") when she tries to improve the county's sky-high teen pregnancy rate by challenging her high school's policy of teaching abstinence.

A terrific film, which I would have watched much sooner had I known it had taken place in Lubbock, Texas. I have a friend from there - and the depiction of the conservative Christian town in the film is accurate. No matter what side of the debate you are on - an inspiring film about a girl learning to make her own decisions, and see many sides to every story.

In A Dream

IN A DREAM: Theatrical Trailer from Herzliya Films on Vimeo.

Over the past four decades, Isaiah Zagar has covered more than 50,000 square feet of Philadelphia with stunning mosaic murals. In A Dream is a documentary feature film that chronicles his work and his tumultuous relationship with his wife, Julia. It follows the Zagars as their marriage implodes and a harrowing new chapter in their life unfolds.

I ended up at the MFA today unexpectedly, and saw this film which a friend had mentioned. Fabulous - made me think a lot of the artistic drive, how we nurture it, how we see it, why do creative people do what they do? This film is only being shown for limited times in select cities - but I hope to see it again when it comes to video.

Click here for Zagar's website.

Art 21

Another terrific art series - bios of the creative process in many mediums. Art 21 is a PBS series highlighting artists of the 21st century.

I'm most fascinated here by the variety of inspiration and medium. I am touched over and over again by how we all seem to have a story to tell. These stories, these "arts" are so varied and personal, yet they still have a certain universality of the theme of love, place, history...

I'm hoping to get out today to see some art in a new way. Watching another episode of this series has put me in a good creative mindset!

Find the PBS website for Art 21 here.

Craft in America

One of the best videos I have seen. Three episodes, highlighting the process of craft and its artists - episodes are called "Memory", "Landscape", and "Community".

Sam Maloof with his gentle way of working with wood is contrasted by the raw humor of furniture maker Garry Knox Bennett. How nice that the series is organized not in themes of technique or genre, but rather in underlying threads that connect the artists and movement to each other.

A new addition to the series will air in October of this year. In the meantime, this DVD is available in many local libraries and on netflix. Check out the extensive website that accompanies the series!

Media in Iran - Election Coverage?

What's happening online is that the people formerly known as news consumers are now given access to all the raw material being captured by eyewitnesses. What is truth and what is fiction? Who is there and who is pretending to be there? Where and when was that video captured? How do I know that Twitter feed isn't from a government agent posing as a protester?

MediaShift's Mark Glaser has assembled an impressive list of where to find information from Iran online.

Is it possible to not have news on the web anymore? I have not checked out all these sites yet - but I am overwhelemed at the transparency of our world events. I know there are many things we do not see - but with effort, there are many things we DO. Glaser's article is also interesitng food for thought.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Irandecision 2009 - CNN's Unverified Material
http://www.thedailyshow.com/
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Jason Jones in Iran

What To Remember When Waking

In that first hardly noticed moment in which you wake,
coming back to this life from the other
more secret, moveable and frighteningly honest world
where everything began,
there is a small opening into the new day
which closes the moment you begin your plans.

What you can plan is too small for you to live.
What you can live wholeheartedly will make plans enough
for the vitality hidden in your sleep.

To be human is to become visible
while carrying what is hidden as a gift to others.
To remember the other world in this world
is to live in your true inheritance.

You are not a troubled guest on this earth,
you are not an accident amidst other accidents
you were invited from another and greater night
than the one from which you have just emerged.

Now, looking through the slanting light of the morning window
toward the mountain presence of everything that can be
what urgency calls you to your one love?
What shape waits in the seed of you
to grow and spread its branches
against a future sky?

Is it waiting in the fertile sea?
In the trees beyond the house?
In the life you can imagine for yourself?
In the open and lovely white page on the waiting desk?

-David Whyte

Finally some sun so I could sit on the beach! I read this poem, from Whyte's Crossing The Unknown Sea: Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity

Terrific read so far - Whyte's work (prose or poetry) speaks to me. I'm still struggling mightily with what seems to be presenting itself as a calling, emerging from the murky depths of my emotions and preconceptions of who I have "been" thus far. I'm not so sure if it's the new paths emerging that are so confusing, or ridding myself of the old paradigms that don't work for me anymore (they never really did!). I have noticed lately that books such as Parker Palmer's Let Your Life Speak, among others, have helped me to focus on work as a mission, a calling, a fulfillment of we are born to do. Work in this case does not always mean a paid "job" - rather, a role of caretaker, creator, nurturer, supporter, Friend... You "work" at the "work" - and if you are lucky, you find yourself in a place where you can emerge and grow into the life you are meant to lead.

Or so I see it for the moment. Those views change everyday, focus a bit more for me. I was often terrified by what Whyte calls the "open and lovely white page" on the desk of my life. No rules, no method, no lines, even! How to find my direction? The inner "work" I'm doing now, on this path of discernment that at times is quite painful, will hopefully lead me to writing on that blank page. And in fact, that page erases every day, open once again to new thoughts.

I was reminded today of Sisyphus, how he kept pushing that big rock up that hill every day, only to see it roll back down again. Frustrating. Today I don't see this as a heavy rock - more like an intriguing puzzle. A spiritual scavenger hunt, if you will - with lots of pieces hidden in the oddest of places. What piece will I find for myself today?