A Meditation on the brink of a new year

“Another kind of new perception in the Light is that a person may be led to explore old memories in a dramatically new way, seeing the protecting, guiding hand . . . in what had seemed an unconnected chain of circumstances, disappointments, disasters, relationships and small successes. In a similar way, this special state of consciousness sometimes opens up a whole new understanding of cause and effect, or, we might say, it develops and reinforces a whole new range of spiritual common sense.” - William Taber

2009 was a HUGE year of change for me. I thought getting married, becoming a parent would be "the" big change - but even more snuck up on me this year. Perhaps I finally settled into the person I am "supposed" to be. Perhaps I am still being led to who that is! I look forward to 2010.

Each of us inevitable,
Each of us limitless --
Each of us with his or her
right upon the earth,
Each of us allow'd
the eternal purports
of the earth,
Each of us here
as divinely as any is here.

Walt Whitman

Elias Hicks

Extract of a letter from Anna Braithwaite, to a friend at Flushing, on Long Island...

He spoke on the subject of the Scriptures as being much too highly thought of among Friends, elucidating his views by saying that a master was useful in teaching the rules of arithmetic, but when we had learned them he was no longer needful to us; therefore, when we come to the Spirit, to which the Scriptures direct, we had no longer need of them. Indeed, he thought that since the Comforter, or Spirit of Truth, had come into every heart, we should be better without them ; and that children brought up to pay attention to the Spirit, would have all revealed to them which the Scriptures contain that was needful for ' them without the perusal of them. Even with regard to the creation of the world, it would be better left to the revelation of the Word, than to any outward means of information : and he strongly recommended her disuse of the Scriptures, stating, that he only referred to them in his communications on account of the low state of the times, the people being still attached to the letter. But his opinion was, that both A. B. and himself would preach the gospel better without reference to the Scriptures in any way, as he believed the Bible had done more harm than any other book ever published; and that, if we supposed it a great advantage to have the Bible, we must suppose the Almighty very unjust to leave so large a portion of the human species without it.

I've just started reading the newest version of Elias Hicks' journal. I thought it might be best to have a small background of the controversy surrounding his views as I read his journal. So far, I am impressed with Hicks' ease of use of Scripture, his devotion and tender care of the Friends and non-Friends he encountered, and his devout nature. All which does not seem to be even close to what he was accused of. I'm not sure if this is a case of the controversy being so out-of-date as to no longer appear relevant, or perhaps I come at this entrenched in a body of Friends and worship tat is often less based in Scripture than even the "least" of the devout of that time - but I do not see the controversy coming. Luckily, Anna Braithwaite's writings, letters, accusations seem to all be accessible online so I will read those as well. It's also been suggested I read Larry Ingle's book regarding the conflict, perhaps I will after this journal is done!

Sacred Compass

I just finished this book. It was a great, modern, easy to understand view of the Quaker concept of discernment - and also just a fine book on meditation and slowing down and asking questions and listening. I had known of it for a long time, but had not gotten around to reading it until it was a Christmas present. Now I am glad I waited - the book made sense to me today. I am sure as I travel through more decisions and musings, I will reach for the book and its guidelines.

New day.

To most of us are given some common little jobs every day of our lives. To a very few comes the call to do something extraordinary, some great task. The world abounds in men and women who find happiness and opportunities for self-expression in being faithful in the humble stations of life which are theirs at a given time. If we are loyal to the truth as we see it, and respond with our might in the "common" situations in day-to-day living as we face them, the glow of the grace of God deepens and nurtures our faculties for insight and for recognition of the true worth of things and of men.
Ranjit Chetsingh

Maille and I returned for Maine last evening, as we both were still coughing and ill. We stayed up and played with some new toys, and then both slept in. Today I awoke with new energy, new focus, new gratitude for how luckily I am to have good family and friends and all that surrounds me.

I've had this nudging playing out lately - it's a little too complicated to consider as of yet. But today I feel like it's on a back-burner for awhile, and I am charged simply to be present, in the moment, care for my needs and others, and get my house in order. Not sure exactly what will present itself next, and how, but I am ready for the new year and today's new day!

Caretake This Moment

Caretake this moment.
Immerse yourself in its particulars.
Respond to this person, this challenge, this deed.

Quit the evasions.
Stop giving yourself needless trouble.
It is time to really live; to fully inhabit the situation you happen to be in now.
You are not some disinterested bystander.
Exert yourself.

Respect your partnership with providence.
Ask yourself often, How may I perform this particular deed
such that it would be consistent with and acceptable to the divine will?
Heed the answer and get to work.

When your doors are shut and your room is dark you are not alone.
The will of nature is within you as your natural genius is within.
Listen to its importunings.
Follow its directives.

As concerns the art of living, the material is your own life.
No great thing is created suddenly.
There must be time.

Give your best and always be kind.

~ Epictetus ~

This seems like a good "new year's resolution"-type reading for this morning. Yesterday we had a very nice, relaxed Christmas. We spent time eating good food, opening nice gifts that will allow us more family time in the future (games and puzzles), and visiting. I also still made it to the Meetinghouse to sit for awhile, and visited a Friend whose company I enjoy every day. I made an effort not to change too much of my routine - my routine at this point is there for a reason - because it creates space for me, provides opportunities for reflection, and strengthens my relationships with others. As I look back on the past six months, new job, more Quaker responsibilities, new endeavors, I am amazed at how many of these peaceful, enriching "resolutions" I have created and kept since the summer. Today's poem for me is a good reminder that each of these small moments has the potential for a miracle. It's the little things that reflect the bigger picture - my need for world peace starts with peace in my own world.

Later today we will head to Maine for a weekend of exploring and family fun. I'm hoping to visit a new Meeting on Sunday, glimpse another version of my own community, or perhaps a totally different one. I am looking forward to a week of rest, inspiration, and learning.

Christmas

The Mystic's Christmas - John Greenleaf Whittier

"All hail!" the bells of Christmas rang,
"All hail!" the monks at Christmas sang,
The merry monks who kept with cheer
The gladdest day of all their year.

But still apart, unmoved thereat,
A pious elder brother sat
Silent, in his accustomed place,
With God's sweet peace upon his face.

"Why sitt'st thou thus?" his brethren cried,
"It is the blessed Christmas-tide;
The Christmas lights are all aglow,
The sacred lilies bud and blow.

"Above our heads the joy-bells ring,
Without the happy children sing,
And all God's creatures hail the morn
On which the holy Christ was born.

"Rejoice with us; no more rebuke
Our gladness with thy quiet look."
The gray monk answered, "Keep, I pray,
Even as ye list, the Lord's birthday.

"Let heathen Yule fires flicker red
Where thronged refectory feasts are spread;
With mystery-play and masque and mime
And wait-songs speed the holy time!

"The blindest faith may haply save;
The Lord accepts the things we have;
And reverence, howsoe'er it strays,
May find at last the shining ways.

"They needs must grope who cannot see,
The blade before the ear must be;
As ye are feeling I have felt,
And where ye dwell I too have dwelt.

"But now, beyond the things of sense,
Beyond occasions and events,
I know, through God's exceeding grace,
Release from form and time and space.

"I listen, from no mortal tongue,
To hear the song the angels sung;
And wait within myself to know
The Christmas lilies bud and blow.

"The outward symbols disappear
From him whose inward sight is clear;
And small must be the choice of days
To him who fills them all with praise!

"Keep while you need it, brothers mine,
With honest seal your Christmas sign,
But judge not him who every morn
Feels in his heart the Lord Christ born!"

I must say this poem was in my head this morning, sitting quietly in the worship room of Whittier's Meetinghouse. It didn't really feel like any other day I am there - but then, I like every day there. I have had terrific family time this morning, visited with a caring Friend who cannot get out often, and rounded it all out with a trip to the meetinghouse. Amesbury is bustling with church activity - I briefly thought about attending a more active service to hear some carols, see some candles. But the silence, the Presence for me was really all I needed, and I knew where to find it.

Community.

By the opening of the eighteenth century the Friends were one people throughout the world, though there was absolutely no bond but love and fellowship. There was no visible head to the Society, no official creed, no ecclesiastical body which held sway and authority. But instead of being an aggregation of separate units the Society was in an extraordinary measure a living group. Friends had suffered together and they were baptised into one spirit. Wherever any Friend was in trouble the world over, all Friends, however remote, were concerned and were ready to help share the trouble if it could be shared. The greatest and the best of the entire Society made their way from meeting to meeting, and from house to house even into the cabin of the settler on the frontier and they wove an invisible bond, stronger than the infallible decrees of Councils, which held the whole body together as an integral unit. Hospitality with the Quaker was not a virtue, it was an unconscious habit.
Rufus M. Jones: The Quakers in the American colonies

Today we battled a great storm to get to meeting. Well, not sure of the greatness of the storm - but it did set all of our plans awry for a Lessons and Carols meeting, and a potluck that is usually well attended. I myself had agreed to a few tasks, and I found myself preoccupied with getting coffee made, the walk shoveled, all those necessary things.

And yet as our motley soggy crew gathered today, a little cold and a little tired and a little later than planned, we settled into a true spirit of fellowship that was just enhanced by simple readings and singing. It was truly a time of sharing, without "right" or "wrong" answers - no lofty Christmas service with much expectation - just us sharing as we all do.

As a newish Friend, I still wonder sometimes how we can all stick together in the absence of a formal creed or doctrine, or even an "official" definition of how Spirit is supposed to sit with us. Our hearts know what is right. We feel the fellowship in a simple hug or a handshake, a caring comment, an effort to share a blanket or turn up the heat. They are reflections of a simple, quiet confidence in a Presence that we all feel and define in our own ways, but acknowledge in others' important yet sometimes quiet journeys. Today I felt truly blessed by a very special community. Now that I have experienced this, I will strive to create that sense of peace and belonging in many areas of my life. No rule book or creed necessary.

Bible. Big indeed.

[The] four Gospels, even with all the gaps, and after all the influence of transmission, are utterly unique creations, touched everywhere with divine inspiration, and they give us, to be sure, not a biography, but in very truth they give us a person, living, acting, teaching, healing, loving, suffering, dying and living gain, great enough in person and life to guide the world through he ages and to be the revealer of God and man.

I have a profound faith that this literature of the ages, which has been passing through an eclipse in this scientific period, will me back into full sunlight splendor, as readers with highly trained minds come to see it for what it really is rather than viewing it in terms of a traditional theory.
Rufus M. Jones: A call to what is vital, 1948

I've been doing a lot of Bible reading lately - not a specific plan, just looking up the references cited in other books, choosing a few verses at a time. I can see why it's so easily used in so many ways across so many traditions. I was surprised when I became a New England Quaker not to have the Bible be such a strong focus in our meeting. Not disappointing, just surprising. I have attended other meetings where Scripture is oft quoted and I am sure referenced throughout the group weekly.

I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. It was a great relief to find that Rufus Jones was such a supporter of Bible study - as were so many of the founding Quakers. Perhaps some of that was the historical context of the time, and how Scripture played a role in the lives of those they were reaching to and encountering. And yet, it seems that even those first Quakers saw the Bible as a friendly record of the direct experiences of Presence that had gone before. Thus, for an old book with much controversy, for Friends it does seem pretty relevant, even today.

I'm currently reading Who On Earth Was Jesus?: The Modern Quest for the Jesus of History with great interest. It's quite slow going, as I seem to have forgotten all my Bible history form college days. I'm not so concerned right now with the spiritual revelations - it's all about finding a historical context. This book will be used in January for a Quaker studies course that I hope to take. Interesting discussions will hopefully come from that!

The Light Within ... is, of course, not a substitute for history the slow verification of truth by historical process; nor is it a substitute for Scripture, the loftiest literary expression of religious experience. There is no "substitute" for either of those ways of divine revelation. No one who neglects the unfolding of the will and purpose of God in history and in Scripture can ever make up for this neglect by stressing his claim to be the recipient of private revelation. No one can break the organic connection with the spiritual movements of the past, and confine himself to his thin channel of supplies, without suffering loss. But at the same time, it is clear, on the basis of the Quaker faith, that Scripture cannot be thought of as the one source of truth and revelation, the one and only word of God. It takes its place rather as a pattern of spiritual literature, rich with the experience of saintly human lives and raised by unmistakable inspiration to an incomparable religious value.
Rufus M. Jones: An interpretation of Quakerism

Hartford.

In our Society visiting is a ministry in which many should share. It should not be restricted to any official body in the meeting. It cannot be neglected if inner fellowship is to flourish. Any group within the Society of Friends who have ever tried to establish a new meeting or to revive a dying one know that the first essential is to visit, and the second essential is to visit, and the third essential is to continue visiting. These visits help to draw the meeting for worship into a basic fellowship that can yield to the Spirit. If the members of the meeting know of difficulties that one or another in their midst may be facing, they can literally draw on the bank of God's healing power for that member.
Douglas V. Steere

I have been hesitant to post about Hartford, only because I'm still struggling to find the words to describe the experience.....

Hartford was an extended meeting for worship last week - it came out of a session mid-year in Maine, which apparently left many thirsting for a deeper connection, more silence, more Presence, more of anything other than what they apparently got. I was not at that session, so I cannot comment on it - but I felt a deep calling to attend this one.

Perhaps I was free to observe and to be silent, since I was not there as a reaction to anything else. Perhaps the others in attendance that day also were committed to a meaningful experience. Whatever the causes, we all found ourselves in a gathered meeting, a deep experience, and I look forward to experiencing this again.

The only thing we bring is ourselves...

We shall not cease from our exploration
And at the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time - T S Eliot

I'm sitting at the Haymarket cafe in Northampton, MA. Last time I was here I do not think I owned a laptop - I may not have imagined I ever would.

I find myself calm and enjoying a nice cup of coffee. My visits here in the past few years have been kind of stressful at times - Western MA has a lot of mixed messages and memories for me. Today, however, this trip is just another day, another stopping place along the road, and I think I am seeing it with new eyes and perspective.

I brought all I needed with me to enjoy the day - me. And that "me" just grows more enlightened, (hopefully) more secure in wherever I am. It has occurred to me that perhaps if I had that all along, this place wouldn't have had such a collection of wacky memories for me. Perhaps not.

time to want as well as a time to abound

"There is a time to want as well as a time to abound while we are in this world. And the times of wanting, as well as abounding are greatly advantageous to us." - Issac Pennington

Looking for the advantage in waiting for lots of things. Boy am I impatient! And yet, I have been blessed with moments of quiet space this week, a quiet home with Bach playing softly as the stew simmers, sitting with Maille watching favorite Christmas movies in wonder.

And this was shared today from Brent Bill:

'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.' And all our apparent initiative is already a response, a testimonial to His secret presence and working within us. The basic response of the soul to the Light is internal adoration and joy, thanksgiving and worship, self-surrender and listening."-- Thomas R Kelly

Listening. Who says "way opening" doesn't come with a road map?

More Rufus....

Something is wrong when a company of worshippers meet week after week to enjoy communion with the Lord, and sit unconcerned about the multitudes who in the same city live in misery, in hunger, in squalor, in vice and in sin.

No one would think of studying the theory of electricity, or physics, or mathematics, without going on to a further practical study of applied electricity, or physics, or mathematics. It is for the sake of the latter that we study the former.....The church holds a position of power in the world only in proportion as it applies the Christianity it teaches in theory, and if it does not succeed in the practical service, something is wrong with its theory.