Takin' a break, or movin' around a bit

I skipped meeting this morning. Ironically, there have been times where I got up early and changed my whole day to get to two meetings for worship in a week (and went to Cambridge), and yet today I just couldn't leave the easy chair.

I think the past few weeks have a been ones of good personal prioritizing for me. Realizing that what speaks to me, my own inner voice, is the one I must listen to the most. Does not attending meeting today mean I am less dedicated to a Quaker path? Of course not. Where I am for one hour in my week does not summarize who I am.

I felt this way at a music conference this week as well. I gathered the information I needed, took careful time to reflect on how I would use it in my own classroom, and chose to avoid some of the less "useful" seminars. Ten years ago those seminars would have been helpful to me. Ten years from now, perhaps they will be helpful again.

We all see the world around us through a lens, and that lens is shaped from our own experiences. I have recently devised a new way to be kind to myself - I ask myself "If my daughter was in this situation, how would I want her to treat herself and act?" That question gets rid of a lot of the "out theres" and the "what ifs". My daughter is perfect being who SHE is - and I hope to be merely the "perfect" ME as I travel lightly through the world.

This week Maille does not go to daycare, and she and I will spend a whole fun week together. When she was younger, I got into the habit of sending her to childcare for a half day so I had some time to myself. I am pondering if that time is so important now. Financially, we are cutting back as much as we can - still figuring out if we need to replace the second job I recently lost. I must say that the time I had for me back then was life-affirming, it gave me a small chance to retain the few things I thought I might have to give up in order to be a stay-at-home mom. Now with my commute significantly shortened, my exhaustion from a hectic work schedule hopefully diminishing, I am working on how to spend that time in a more helpful way. Not by taking a class, starting a new degree - but maybe just playing in a new group, joining a book club, and of course spending more adventure time with Maille.