Door Keepers

We stand by the door. We neither go too far in, nor stay too far out, the door is the most important door in the world - it is the door through which men and women walk when they find God.

There is no use in our going way inside, and staying there, when so many are still outside and they, as much as we, crave to know where the door is. And all that so many ever find is only the wall where the door ought to be. They creep along the wall like blind beggars, with outstretched, groping hands . . . feeling for a door, knowing that there must be a door, yet they never find it, so we stand by the door.

The most tremendous thing in the world is for men and women to find that door - the door to God. And the most important thing any person can do is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands and put it on the latch - the latch that only clicks and opens to one's own touch. So many die outside that door, as starving beggars die on cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter - die for what is within their grasp. Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it, and open it, and walk in, and find God . . . So we stand by the door.

Go in, great saints, go all the way in - go way down into the cavernous cellar, and way up into the spacious attic - it is a vast and roomy house where God is. Go into the deepest hidden casements, of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood. Some must inhabit those inner rooms and know the depth and heights of God and call out to the rest of us how wonderful it is. Sometimes we take a deeper look in, sometimes venture in a little further; but our place seems closer to the opening . . . so we stand by the door.

We admire the people who go way in. But we wish they would not forget how it was before they got in. Then they would be able to help the people who have not yet even found the door. You can go in too deeply, and stay too long, and forget the people outside the door.

As for us, we shall take our old accustomed place, near enough to God to hear him and know he is there, but not so far from men and women as not to hear them and remember that they are there, too.

Where? Outside the door - thousands of them, millions of them. But more important for us - one of them, two of them, ten of them, whose hands we intend to put on the latch. So we shall stand by the door and wait for those who seek it. We'd rather be doorkeepers ... So we stand by the door. We stand by the door.

These words, written by Samuel Moor Shoemaker, are dedicated to those who devote their time and energy to serve as door keepers at The Peace Abbey.

CLARITY IS FREEDOM

I had tea yesterday with a great theologian,
and he asked me,

“What is your experience of God’s will?”

I liked that question –
for the distillation of thought hones thought in others.
Clarity, I know, is freedom.

What is my experience of God’s will?

Everyone is a traveler. Most all need lodging, food,
and clothes.

I let enter my mouth what will enrich me. I wear what
will make my eye content,
I sleep where I will
wake with the
strength to
deeply
love


all my mind can
hold.

What is God’s will for a wing?
Every bird knows
that.

~ St. Teresa of Avila ~

Water finds a way

Morning greeted me today on Hampton Beach with fog and mist. As it was cool and not crowded, I chose to walk down by the water, and went south instead of north.

I've been musing a lot about paths these days - how we find them, how we discern them, and most often how they find us. I have a few major trends emerging, resurfacing again in my thoughts, mostly around education and travel and strengthening connections. They all seem disjoint and unrelated, but I am hoping for the day when their interconnectedness becomes clear to me. I suppose I assume that's the day I'll be more clear on how to proceed.

As I walked the beach, I noticed a trickly stream headed to the sea from up the beach. Someone had obviously tried to block the water's path yesterday with some stones in a makeshift dam, the remnants of which remained. I stood there in the stream, as the water flowed around my feet, and noticed how the water was blocked, and yet always found a way to proceed to the sea. This spoke to me quite strongly - as I watched that little trickly head south to join the rest of the massive ocean.

I have, and have always had, deep yearnings for fellowship, worship, education - all in community. Even when my particular path was unclear, the theme of community was strong. In my clearest moments of peace and rest, it is present. I think that's the thread I am still following after all this time. I may try to block with with small stones on my path , but that direction always flows through me, back to the Source.

I will eventually be involved in some discernment around all this with good Ffriends. I am hoping these small moments that I am noticing are tools to help me along the way!

The Way It Is

There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.

~ William Stafford ~

The Prodigal Manifesto

1. An artist’s power lies in his own clarity about the role his work can play in the creation of a more beautiful world.
2. An artist will forgive because it is the possibility of another possibility.
3. An artist recognizes that everyone in the world, in their purest form, is an expression of the highest universal wisdom. It may be covered by layers of ego and fear but it is there. Like every mark on his canvas, an artist sees people for what they are… interdependent, individual expressions of God.
4. An artist understands that there are no great deeds. There are only small deeds done with great love.
5. An artist holds practice and commitment as the keys to love.
6. An artist is a spiritual warrior.
7. An artist knows that few places generate as much doubt as the wilderness.
8. An artist informs the world what is available behind the masks that we all wear.
9. An artist’s only job is to tend to our growth as people… our grace; our integrity; our humility.
10. An artist discovers that the only new frontiers are internal ones.
11. An artist begins the journey rather than dreaming about the final destination.
12. An artist recognizes that his ego is not a monster… just the idea of a monster.
13. An artist makes a radical commitment to a different way of being; a mental response to life that is completely at odds with the thinking of the world. It is a conscience decision to defy ego’s voice.
14. An artist knows why the caged bird sings.
15. An artist looks for innocence in the mirror.
16. An artist programs his future by how he lives his present.
17. An artist is a living manifestation of the voice everyone hears at the edge of sleep.
18. An artist knows the “feel” of faith. Faith is not blind; faith is visionary.
19. An artist is a miracle worker of the world that could be. A miracle is a change in perception.
20. An artist understands that fear is a call for love.
21. An artist discovers a simple truth… anything that is not love… is illusion.
22. An artist is the prodigal son come home.

All this wisdom, and much more, can be found here.

Trusting in the Change

Scituate, MA Elementary Honor Band with Thomas C Duffy, Yale. Commissioned work rehearsal, Spring 2008


If we dwell in the presence of God, we shall be led by the spirit. We do well to remember that being led by the spirit depends not so much upon God, who is always there to lead us, as upon our willingness to be led. We need to be willing to be led into the dark as well as through green pastures and by still waters. We do not need to be afraid of the dark, because God is there. The future of this earth need not be in the hands of the world's 'leaders'. The world is in God's hands if we are led by God. Let us be led by the Spirit. Let us walk with a smile into the dark.

Gordon Matthews, 1987


A few years ago I was in a job that I loved. It was a long commute, and some other hassles, but I had opportunity to work with great people, I was respected in the job, and was doing good, creative work with great kids. Budget cuts put my position in jeopardy, and I had to consider whether it was feasible to find work somewhere else. The employment kept coming back and leaving, and it seemed it would stay and all would be well, around the time I had a big concert/gathering of students. At that event in the lobby, I found myself telling a colleague, "well, this might all still work out. Perhaps this is the place for me".

At that moment I felt a strong sense telling me simply "This is NOT it". I have no idea what that was, exactly - except it was right. Soon after I was offered another position, and although I was not sure it was the right move, I accepted the job and it turned out to be exactly what I needed at that time.

How often as this happened? When I am open to it, more times than I can count. Quakers call it "Way opening" - Julia Cameron calls it "listening to the Universe".

When our highest self becomes actualized, it seems like all is "right" with the world. Robert Fritz calls this "The Path of Least Resistance". Fritz does not say that the path is an easy one - it is just the path we are meant to be on, and we do not resist it. In Quakerly terms, we are given leadings, able to see Openings,and discern a direction. In my case of late, it seems also to mean some pretty amazing cases of "Synchronicity" occur as well! Fritz also says this opens us up in a state of Transcendence...

The other life-building principle is transcendence – we can transcend the consequences we have put into motion. Cause and effect are suspended. Past actions do not become manifested in future outcomes. The past, no matter what it has been, is no longer a dynamic that must play itself out. Not only do we recognize the past is over, it is no longer at issue. We are able to re-create our lives anew. -Fritz

I feel called to return to that space right now. I have not really been dwelling there for a long time - I just visit. The "visits" let me glimpse a brighter, deeper way of being, but the effort to leave the tedium of some of my day-to-day commitments has been a strong pull. Time to take that leap!

“I have learned, as a rule of thumb, never to ask whether you can do something. Say, instead, that you are doing it. Then fasten your seat belt. The most remarkable things follow.” - Julia Cameron

Little moments of salvation

Normally my morning beach walk includes a quiet read of poetry, Bible, whatever I feel moved to carry that day. Today I looked over the ledge of the sidewalk, onto the sand, and found a crab struggling to right itself and continue walking on the sand. The water was very far away, and there were some very hungry seagulls in between - he needed a little help.

So...I walked down to the sand, picked up the snapping crab, dumped him in my shoe and headed to the water. It was a new northern section of the beach, where I had not walked before. There were some rocks up ahead, and surprisingly, there were tide pools there. I dumped out the crab and he happily scurried sideways under some rocks, where I was convinced he would live another day.

Yesterday I had a great day of sharing with new F/friends who helped me along in a time of difficult questioning. It was unexpected, it was more helpful than I could have ever dreamed, and more timely than I would have ever hoped for. How often to we overlook such amazing gifts that we are given? This crab I found today was in the middle of no where, certainly "doomed", even if unaware of the circumstance at the time. And yet out of nowhere he was scooped up and saved. Propelled onto a new path.

Quakers (the weighty, "real" Quakers I tend to like so much) were quite aware of these happenings. In a world of many trials, where it seems the curtain is closing and the cavalry will not make it in time, the "big save" always seems to occur. Perhaps not in the way they expected - but certainly in the way most needed and helpful at the time. I'm hoping in the next few days, as I myself move into some new and uncharted spiritual territory for me, to remember it is not my job to fix anything, save anyone, but merely to sit back and faithfully watch the unfolding, and be grateful.

My own will and desires were now very much broken, and my heart was with much earnestness turned to the Lord, to whom alone I looked for help in the dangers before me. - John Woolman

Standards

This morning, as I walked the Hampton seacoast, I though about standards. I am asked to do this often in the field of education - and I am sure I do it subconsiously in many areas of my life.

I was told once by a well-meaning (and caring) F/friend, "you have really high standards for members of your community". That was months ago, but it rose in me today. At the time, I disagreed. At that time, it implied that I was judging others, critical of their behavior if it didin't fit my standard.

I imagined that differently today in the hazy mist of morning. My standards are very high indeed. They are what I seem at the moment to call Christ's Standards. There's really only one - "love everybody". That's it. High? You betcha. Unattainable? For everybody I've met thus far.

I think what my F/friend was speaking of were my expectations. I am figuring out if those are in the right place. Do I expect others in my meeting to "fix" my problems? Do I expect them to hold to that standard of universal love, in all situations, without failing or struggling as we humans often do? I hope not.

I do, however, expect them to listen to me. And to sit with me in fellowship and prayer as I figure out next steps on a spiritual path. I'm not sure where that falls in the "reasonable" realm. It seems, at the moment, to be the right question to be asking - and I am blessed today to have found this query.